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Funny Yo Momma Jokes
Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
Yo mama is so old that her memory is in black and white.
Yo mama is so ugly that her pillow cries at night.
Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said “Hey miss, lost a shoe?” she said “Nope, just found one!”
Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.
Yo mama is so old that she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry!
Yo mama is so stupid that she uses Old Spice for cooking.
Yo mama is so poor that she married young just to get the rice!
Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
Yo mama is so poor that her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama is so fat that she has more Chins than a Chinese phone book!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.
Yo mama is so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama is so ugly that she makes blind children cry.
Yo mama is so fat that she fell out of both sides of her bed.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.
Yo mama is so old that when she farts, dust comes out.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.
Yo mama is so poor that your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama is so ugly that… well… look at you!
Yo mama is so fat that she went to the movie theatre and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team!
Yo mama is so poor that burglars break in and leave money.
Yo mama is so old that that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama is so stupid that when she went for a blood test, she asked for time to study.
Yo mama is so ugly that she scared the crap out of the toilet.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama is so poor that she can’t afford to pay attention!
Yo mama’s so dumb that when she saw the “Under 17 not admitted” sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it reads “one at a time, please”.
Yo mama is so poor that the bank repossesed her cardboard box.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
Yo mama so fat she goes to KFC and licks other people’s fingers.
Yo mama so dumb when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Yo momma so fat Burger King hired her because she eats cows and shits hamburgers.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
Yo mama so fat she ate a whole Pizza… Hut.
Yo mama is so dumb she got awarded the Nobel prize for stupidity.
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Yo mama so dumb she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox. We ask her what’s she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.
Yo mama so fat that she don’t need the internet she’s already world wide.
Yo mama is so dumb not even Google could translate her.
Yo mama so butch, her dick is bigger than mine.
Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama so fat she just had a baby and said it was delicious.
Yo mama so greasy and fat she uses bacon as a band aid.
Yo momma is so stupid when your dad sad it was chilly outside, she ran out the door with a spoon!
Yo mama so fat all she wanted for Christmas is to see her feet.
Yo momma so stupid she stuck a battery up her ass and said, “I GOT THE POWER!”
Yo mama so dumb she thought a tsunami was a kind of Japanese sushi
Yo Momma’s so fat when I told her to touch her toes she said, “What are those”?
Yo mama so fat that she gave Dracula diabetes.
Yo momma is so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, “IT’S CHEWBACCA!”
Yo momma so fat and dumb, she tears apart computers looking for cookies.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, Instagram crashed.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
Yo mamma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, “We can’t fix it.”
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”
Yo mama so fat she went to a restaurant and got the group discount.
Yo momma’s so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
Yo mama is so stupid, when they said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go the other way.
Yo mama so nasty she looks like an ogre and smells like puss in boots.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Yo mama so fat her blood type is Nutella.
Yo momma is so fat that Dora can’t even explore her!
Yo mama is so fat that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
Yo momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Yo mama so fat, every time she walks she does the Harlem shake.
Yo momma’s so dumb, when y’all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said “Disneyland left,” so she went home.
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!
Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she took a bath the water jumped out.
Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma is so fat when she went to KFC the cashier asked, “What size bucket?” and yo momma said, “The one on the roof.”
Yo mama so dumb when yo father said let’s hit the Road she actually hit the road.
Yo momma is so fat that when she saw a yellow school bus go by full of white kids she ran after it yelling, “TWINKIE!”
Yo mama is so fat she threw on a sheet for Halloween and went as Antarctica.
Yo momma is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so fat, they used Google Earth for her school photo.
Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application.
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo momma is so poor I saw her kicking a trash can so I asked, “What are you doing?” and she said, “I’m moving.”
Yo mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Yo mamma is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed 3 episodes.
Yo mama so butch, her middle name is Rambo.
Yo momma’s so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought THE EXORCIST was a workout video.
Yo momma is so fat she sat on the rainbow and Skittles came out.
Yo mama so fat Mount Everest tried to climb her.
Your momma’s so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.
Your mama so dumb she tried to climb mountain dew.
Yo momma’s so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.
Yo mama like the Pillsbury dough boy. Everybody pokes her.
Yo momma is so stupid that she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
Yo Mama’s so dirty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
Yo momma is so ugly she turned Medusa into stone.
Yo mamma so dumb she brought nuts to the Nutcracker.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she scared the shit out of the toilet.
Yo mama so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting “wait you forgot the remote”.
Yo momma’s so fat, she wore a black bathing suit to the pool and everyone yelled “oil spill!”
Yo momma is so dumb she stuck a phone up her ass to make a booty call.Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama so fat, she masterbates to the food channel.
Yo mama so fat she wears a sock on each toe.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says “expired”.
Yo momma is so poor she created a gmail account just so she can eat the spam.
Yo mama is so ugly that even Scooby Doo couldn’t solve that mystery.
Yo momma so fat she sued Xbox 360 for guessing her weight.
Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.
Yo momma is poor when I sat on a skateboard she said (get of my family van).
Yo momma is so fat her favorite basketball team is the Denver Nuggets.
Yo mama is so dumb. She went to the eye doctor to buy an iPad.
Yo mama so dumb she went to the dentist to get her Bluetooth fixed.
Yo momma so butch, she’s twice the man you are.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
Your mom is so fat that she can’t fit in this joke.
Yo momma so fat her cereal bowl comes with a life guard.
Yo mamma is so dumb she goes to a White Castle, flushes the toilet and calls it a royal flush!
Yo mom is like a bowling ball, she is picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter and still comes back for more!
Yo Mama so dumb, she brought a ladder to go to HIGH SCHOOL!
Yo mama’s so dumb she returned a puzzle because it was broken.
Yo momma is so fat she shits lard.
Your mama so dumb that she thought seaweed was something that FISH SMOKE!
Yo mama so stupid, she tripped over a WIRELESS network!
Yo momma so fat when she sat on a penny and Abraham Lincolin said ouch.
Yo mama so fat when she sat on a dollar bill she squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.
Yo mama so fat she’s the reason African kids are starving
Yo mama so dumb, she cut holes in her umbrella to see if it was raining!
Yo mama so butch even her pool table has no balls.
Yo mama so dirty I told her to do the robot. And now R2D2 has AIDS
Yo mama so dumb she took a doughnut back cause it had a hole in it.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code!
Your mama so dumb she put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
Yo mama so dumb, when she heard the middle of the road is where accidents happen, she went there and peed herself.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat she stuffed a turkey with her fat.
Yo Momma so fat, I bumped into her and said “Sorry, my mistake.” She said “Did you just say steak?”
Yo mama so ugly she had to trick or treat over the phone.
Yo mama so dumb she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama so fat when God said let there be light, he asked her to move out of the way.
Yo mama so ugly her birth certificate was an apology from the condom factory.
Yo momma so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to work in the morning is the front door.
Yo mama so dumb she ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald’s and said, “Hold the cheese”.
Yo mama so dumb she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
Yo mama so dumb she couldn’t see the forest cause “the trees were blocking it.”
Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”
Yo mama’s so cross-eyed, she thought her only child was a twin.
Yo mama so nasty I asked her how to spell PENIS, and she said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo mama so dumb when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
Yo mama so dirty when she walk down the street poor people offer her soap.
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so nasty she gave your daddy a blow job then came into your room and gave you a kiss goodnight.
Yo mama so fat she has two watches one for each time zone she’s in.
Yo mama so dirty, the roaches wrote her an eviction notice.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she thought a quarterback was an ATM.
Yo mama so nasty when she went to red lobster they kicked her out for bringing her own crabs.
Yo mama has so many teeth missing, that it looks like her tongue is in jail.
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beeps.
Yo mama’s so nasty, she stuck in a cucumber and pulled out a pickle.
Yo mama like humpty dumpty first she is humped then she is dumped.
Yo mama so fat she puts mayonnaise on her diet pills.
Yo mama so fat, her address is McDonalds.
Yo momma so dumb I told her christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
Yo mama so dumb if she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless.
Yo mama’s so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
Yo mama so nasty she’s like a nascar driver she burns 50 rubbers a day!
Yo mama so dumb she went to the library to find Facebook.
Yo mama is like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.
Your mama so fat the only letters in the alphabet she knows is KFC.
Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
Yo mama so fat shes on the seafood diet, she sees food and she eats it.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so dumb it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo momma so dumb, the smartest thing to come out of her mouth was a penis.
Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave.
Yo mama so lazy the only two letters of the alphabet she knows is NO.
Yo mama mouth is so big that she speaks in surround sound.
Yo mama so fat her favorite actor is Kevin Bacon.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
Yo momma is so hairy she makes a gorilla look shaved.
Yo momma so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it.
Yo Mama’s so fat she uses a Snickers for a toothbrush.
Yo mamma is so hairy when she puts on a yellow dress she looks like big bird.
Yo mama so dumb that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.
Yo mama so hairy and ugly when big foot saw her he thought she was his true love.
Yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past at the same time!
Yo mama so fat when she gets a cut she bleeds milkshake.
Yo mamma so dumb she thought Starbucks was a bank.
Yo mama so dumb when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so fat when she was in school she sat by everybody!
Yo mama so hairy her butt hairs get clogged in the toilet when she flushes.
Yo Mamas so hairy, even her STD’s gets lost”!
Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPad and turned it into a Flat Screen TV.
Yo mamas so fat she has more rolls than a bakery!
Yo momma is so ugly when she looks in the mirror Bloody Mary goes away.
Yo momma is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Yo mama so dumb when she saw a drive thru sign in McDonalds, she drove straight thru the building.
Yo mama so fat she jumped off the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo mama so hairy, that you need a lawn mower for her back.
Yo mama so old they moved her out of the retirement home and in to the museum.
Yo mama so hairy when she moans she sounds like Chewbacca.
Yo mama so dumb when I told her a Tsunami hit, she said “Why didn’t you hit back?”.
The last 25 jokes about Yo mama
Your mom so fat when she got on the scale the doctor looked at the number and said “That’s my phone number.”
Yo momma so dumb she put paper on the tv ad and calls it paper view.
Yo mama is so fat, it took 3 years for Nationwide to get on her side.
Yo momma so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
Yo mama so dumb she thinks brownies are people with brown skin.
Yo momma chest so hairy her titties look like coconuts.
Yo mama so dumb I asked her what she does for a living and she said breathe.
Yo momma so cross eyed, her husband left her for seeing someone on the side.
Yo mama so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
Yo mama so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.
Yo mama’s legs are like the library, they’re always open to the public.
Yo mama so fat her stretch marks got stretch marks.
Yo mama so hairy when you’re baby brother was born, he died of rug burn.
Yo mama so dumb she stole free bread.
Yo mama is so fat she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Yo momma so fat, she got stuck in an armless chair.
Yo mama so fat the shadow of her butt weighs fifty pounds.
Yo mama so fat that when she fell down the stairs, I wasn’t laughing but the stairs were cracking up.
Yo mama so ugly when she looks in the mirror Micheal Jackson sings beat it.
Yo mamma is so stupid she gave birth to you on the I-75 because she heard that’s where accidents happen.
Yo mama so dumb she got stabbed in a shootout.
Your mama so fat she has pictures of food in her wallet.
Yo mama so fat when she said beam me up Scotty he said, “I can’t your too heavy.”
Yo mama so dumb she asked you “What is the number for 911”.