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Senior Citizen Pick Up Lines
My teeth and I no longer sleep together, but you and I definitely should.
You’re so sweet, you’re giving my dentures cavities.
My arteries aren’t the only things that have hardened.
How about I take you back to my place where we can get into a heated arguement about social security.
How would you like to help me feel like a kid again.
Baby is your name Cholesterol, because you send my blood pressure skyrocketing!
How’d you like to be in my will?
I’m retired, so you know I have the time to please you.
Your company is so delightful, I’m contemplating putting a new battery in my hearing aid.
Girl I’d fake being a blind old man, just to touch you inappropriately.
You must be a garden, cause I’m digging you.
I might be a retired photographer, but I can still picture us together.
You. Me. Dance floor. Now. Don’t give me no ado about nothing.
How about I take you home and show you my medicine cabinet!
If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I’d take my last breath to say “I Love You”
Are you a cat lady? Cause I’m the cat whisperer cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.
Is your name Viagra, cause I don’t think they will be able to close my casket after a night with you.
Sorry, but I couldn’t help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.
I would sink my teeth into that booty, but they might just stay there.
Ever done it in a Craftmatic adjustable bed?